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Bureau of Made Up Statistics

Office of Conditions, Whose, and the Whose Conditions

Est. 1957 — "In Data We Fabricate"

DATA ADVISORY: The Bureau is currently experiencing higher-than-normal levels of statistical fabrication. Normal service will resume never.
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Statistics Issued Today
6.6% from yesterday
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Active Researchers
3.0% (budget cuts)
0
Nations Served
2 new this quarter
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Accuracy Rating
within expectations

Daily Briefing

Research Findings

Human Behavior
73.2847% of people who read statistics in a serious font believe them immediately.
Confidence Level: 59.13%
Dr. Agatha Benchworth
Human Behavior
The average person changes their mind 4.8 times before deciding what to eat for dinner.
Confidence Level: 83.74%
Prof. Archibald Margin
Workplace & Economy
The average spreadsheet contains 3.7 errors, 1.2 of which are load-bearing.
Confidence Level: 66.04%
Dr. Adelaide Variance
Food & Consumption
The ideal pizza slice angle is 37.2 degrees, which no pizzeria has ever achieved.
Confidence Level: 68.75%
Dr. Adelaide Variance
Food & Consumption
Cereal poured before milk tastes 22.1% more morally correct, according to 100% of cereal-first advocates.
Confidence Level: 55.10%
Dr. Constance Fiddler
International Affairs
74.2% of countries have a holiday that no other country understands.
Confidence Level: 96.04%
Dr. Constance Fiddler

Bureau Divisions

Division of Conditions and Whose Margin of Error

Proudly operating within a ± 100% margin of error.

Department of Untestable Hypotheses

If it can't be proven, it can't be disproven. Checkmate.

Office of International Statistical Fabrication

Supplying governments with the numbers they deserve since 1957.

Center for Conditions That Sound Real

Our researchers have advanced degrees in plausibility.

Bureau of Recursive Self-Reference

Please see the Bureau of Recursive Self-Reference for more information.

Recent Publications

PublicationDatePDF
Annual Report on Reports About Reports (Vol. XLVII) 2026-01-15
Quarterly Review of Unverifiable Claims (Q4 2025) 2025-12-01
The State of Numbers We Just Made Up 2025-11-12
International Index of Suspiciously Precise Figures 2025-09-30
White Paper: Why 73.6% Is the Most Believable Percentage 2025-08-22

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