0
Statistics Issued Today
2.4% from yesterday
0
Active Researchers
3.2% (budget cuts)
0
Nations Served
3 new this quarter
0
Accuracy Rating
within expectations
Daily Briefing
Maritime law is understood by exactly nobody. This includes maritime lawyers.
Source: BOMUS Annual Report, Vol. XLVII, pp. 197-466
Last updated: 16:58:43 UTC
Research Findings
Human Behavior
The average person tells exactly 1.7 lies per day, a statistic which is itself a lie.
Confidence Level: 61.00%
Prof. Archibald Margin
Human Behavior
47.9% of people singing in the shower believe they could have gone professional.
Confidence Level: 90.57%
Prof. Edwin Stackwell
Workplace & Economy
Per capita coffee consumption increases by 340% during budget season.
Confidence Level: 95.33%
Prof. Thaddeus Deviation
Food & Consumption
People who say 'I could eat' have a 97.3% probability of being ready to eat an entire meal.
Confidence Level: 89.65%
Prof. Thaddeus Deviation
Meta-Statistics
Approximately 97.3978271128% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Confidence Level: 48.18%
Prof. Herbert Chartsworth
International Affairs
74.2% of countries have a holiday that no other country understands.
Confidence Level: 80.06%
Prof. Thaddeus Deviation
Bureau Divisions
Division of Conditions and Whose Margin of Error
Proudly operating within a ± 100% margin of error.
Department of Untestable Hypotheses
If it can't be proven, it can't be disproven. Checkmate.
Office of International Statistical Fabrication
Supplying governments with the numbers they deserve since 1957.
Center for Conditions That Sound Real
Our researchers have advanced degrees in plausibility.
Bureau of Recursive Self-Reference
Please see the Bureau of Recursive Self-Reference for more information.
Recent Publications
Official Report Generator
Generate an official-sounding Bureau report assembled from our patented Bureaucratic Language Engine™.
Click the button below to generate an official report.